You wake up and decide to take over the world using your wits and what’s in your pockets. In your right is some string, a paper clip, and $2. In your left you find a Death Laser. [link to post]
“ ‘Death Laser’ is kind of vague,” I said to myself and looked over the device. It looked like a smart phone with no screen. A black solid rectangle small enough to fit in my pocket. A green arrow at one end was labeled, “Death side.” On the surface of the black rectangle a single, simple button glowed red. I pointed the device at a Styrofoam cup leftover from last night’s fast food dinner. I pressed the button and a thin green beam, like from a laser pointer, fired out and hit the cup. Nothing happened. I tried it again several times, and each time the cup was unaffected.
“Well it’s a fun toy I guess.” I said and went about starting my day. I hopped in the shower to give some thought about how to take over the world with a cat toy, some string and a paper clip. The string and paper clip were potentially another cat toy. The $2 would buy some 99cent nuggets and maybe some fries with the extra change in car. As I finished the shower, a realization hit me.
“Death Laser. I probably have to point it at something alive. Also, once I take over the world, I can have all the nuggets I want.” I dried, dressed and walked out to the car. The local stray saw me coming out and gave me a stare of feline annoyance while he climbed off my car and made his way to a shaded spot under the tree. I reached for the Death Laser in my pocket to play with the cat, but decided to test it out on something alive first, just in case. I looked around for something I did not mind murdering and found a spider crawling on the front door to my house. I pointed the laser at it and pressed the button. The green beam hit the spider directly and it fell from the door. I leaned in closer and the spider looked shriveled up with his legs in the air. He did not move.
“I hope you appreciate not being dead,” I said to the cat. He yawned at me from under the tree and closed his eyes. I moved to pocket the Death Laser again, but it felt different somehow. I looked at it and the red button had become green. The arrow was now labeled “Live side” instead of “Death side”.
“Huh.” I pointed it at the spider’s corpse and pressed the button. A red beam of energy shot from the device and it hit the spider again. The spider’s legs started wriggling immediately. It flipped itself over and scurried away in a hurry. The Death Laser changed back to a red button.
“Oh, taking over the world just got much easier.” I hopped into my car and drove to the mall. I needed a lot of people to make a proper spectacle. I reached the mall and the crowds were larger than I imagined. I people watched for a while, waiting to find the right mark. I caught sight of a girl, 16 or so. Obviously rich and obviously spoiled. Her father, identified constantly by the girl, walked behind her carrying several large bags. I pointed Death at her and pressed the button. She fell over in an instant. Her father yelled.
“Nancy?!” He dropped all the bags and dove to the ground. He checked for a pulse and immediately started doing CPR. “Someone call for help!” The father yelled while he pushed down on the girl’s chest.
“I can help her!” I ran over to his side and knelt down by the girl. I held the Death Laser in my hand discreetly and pointed it at her body. The father pushed me away.
“I’m a doctor. If I can’t do anything for my daughter, you can’t. Stay out of the way,” He said.
“But she’s dead, right? There’s no pulse? I know magic, watch.” I pressed the button to give her life. Her eyes fluttered open.
“Daddy? What happened?” The girl said. She stared up at her father, but her father stared at me. “Can we get some food?” She asked.
“How did you do that?” Her father grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
“Magic.” I said, confidently. The girl wanted food. At the very least I can get some nuggets for saving her life. This man being a doctor will definitely help me establish myself as a miracle worker. It was probably too much to hope for taking over the world in one day, but it’s a start.
“Daddy? Food please?” The girl reached up to hug her father, and sunk her teeth into his neck. I watched it all happen in slow motion. Blood gushed from the man’s neck even before he started screaming in my face. Everyone panicked. The patrons scattered and I bolted to my car and drove home. I reached my house and instead of parking, I kept driving. In the shade, under the tree, a cat’s corpse lay in red grass. A large spider, about half a foot in size walked over the cat’s body and wrapped it in webbing.