You build a device that allows you to send messages to the past in the form of hallucinations, one day your friend is messing around and sends a message to Julius Caesar….. [link to post]
In hindsight it was not my best idea to show Jake my invention while we were high, but luckily things worked out. I raided the pantry to look for something delicious while Jake stayed in my room and laid back. The gadget was rigged together from a VR helmet; he wore it on his head while he focused on trolling people in the past by sending them dreams and visions. When I invented the device, I also created temporal dampeners so that I would be sure to notice changes. I wore a blue glowing bracelet on my wrist that kept me safe from changes. The device itself also did the same, so I knew Jake would be fine. I reached for a box of Chips Ahoy! cookies.
I grabbed the package, and by the time I placed them on my formica counter-top, the package was different. Instead of bright blue, the package was purple and gold. The Chips Ahoy! logo changed into “Cookie Cookie!” I sighed, but opened the package anyway. The cookies were huge.
Over the last few years their cookies had gotten smaller, but more expensive. I took a bite, and they were the most delicious cookies I’d ever tasted. I could not discern if they were different or it was the high. I walked out of the kitchen and headed back to my room to see what trouble he caused, but the doorbell distracted me.
“Oh shit.. Okay. Play it cool.” I panicked mentally, but needed to answer the door. My front door had a window on it, and the person saw me walking by. I could not pretend I was not home. I opened the door to find a pizza delivery guy.
“Good afternoon, Sir! Here’s your daily delivery, I’ll see you again tomorrow!” He handed me two pizza boxes and turned to leave without asking me for any payment. I stared at the pizza boxes. A tall, muscular man in a toga gave me a thumb’s up gesture and smiled at me from the top of the pizza box. “Emperor Caesar’s” the logo said.
I opened the box and the pizza was beautiful. It looked like it came from proper pizzeria with a brick oven, not a fast food chain focusing on cheap, quick pizza. I was so entranced, and high, I remained at the front door. I stood there with the door open, and I took a bite of pizza. It was, for lack of a better word, orgasmic. I closed my eyes and savored the single bite.
A breeze reminded me I was in the doorway. I opened my eyes and closed the door. I made my way back to my room and found Jake laying down, giggling to himself still wearing the headset. When I stepped in the room he took it off.
“Is that pizza? It worked!” He cheered, then grabbed a slice of pizza. His eyes closed, and he also seemed to have a mini-orgasm on the first bite.
“What did you do?” I asked him between bites.
“You know Julius Caesar?” He asked, smiling.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“Well, I’ve always wondered what he would think of the pizza chain. So, I showed him pizza.”
“You know that’s like 2000 years too early, right?”
“Not anymore.” Jake shrugged. Curiosity led me to the internet. I poked around and found out most of the big names were still around. Google, Apple, Microsoft, etc. My Facebook feed was filled with pizza praise. Fan art, recipe discussion. All friendly and civil. After more searching I found out that Julius Caesar was never murdered. He lived a long and full life and conquered the world, his legacy still lived on in 2017. He was well loved by all. He united the world under a love for Pizza.