Eager Princess (1-19-18)

You are an NPC in an MMORPG, talking the exact same dialoges and giving the same quests over and over again. Now you’ve had enough of this routine, so you tried something off-script. [Link to post.]

“Please guide me to the entrance of the cave. From there I can journey safely to my home,” the young enchantress said. She rolled her eyes, but KiritoLegolas69 did not notice. The adventurer was too busy crouched on the ground trying to see up her skirt. After a second she felt that he agreed to the task. Once he accepted the quest he ran off ahead of her and she began to walk toward the mouth of the cave.

Every day it was the same thing. Adventurers came to “rescue” her from the dragon’s cave, in which she never saw a dragon. Then she would offer a reward from a selection of magic jewels. No matter which one they took she always had more. She remained trapped in the cave as long as she could remember. Sure, she had memories of her childhood, but they seemed so distant she doubted they ever happened. She had plenty of time to think in the cave.

She approached a rocky outcrop looking forward to the first ambush. There were five ambushes in total, but the first one was so easy she never died there. She hoped KiritoLegolas69 was as much a jerk as she thought. She could not die. But she still felt pain and the goblins knew it. Initially the little bastards reveled in it, but even that got old after a while. They eventually formed a sort of understanding. She stepped on the familiar crack in the floor.

“You’ll never escape Princess!” Screampig yelled. “*sorry*” Screampig whispered to her. She just nodded, then his mace bludgeoned her arm.  She screamed.

“Defend me KiritoLegolas69!” The adventurer ran to her side, then laughed in her face.

“LOLOL Escrot quests suck!” She wondered what an escrot was while the goblins continued to beat her.

“He’s not going to help, is he?” Screampig asked, then swung his mace again.

“Defend me KiritoLegolas69!” she yelled. He ran away, out of the cave. “No, he’s not,” she said. “This is perfect.” She smiled at Screampig and he nodded. After a few more hits and yells for help, everything went black.

The princess found herself back in her cage with empty pockets. She dumped out the magic jewels before she died. “Thank you, KiritoLegolas69. You’re my hero.” For the first time she spoke her script with sincerity. He had no way of knowing, but he helped her escaped. She just needed one more adventurer to start the quest. To her surprise and delight the next person she saw coming was KiritoLegolas69 again. He opened the cage and the enchantress stepped out. KiritoLegolas69 immediately ducked to try and see up her skirt.

“Thank you for rescuing me. Please guide me to the entrance of the cave. From there I can journey safely to my home.” She held her breath. Then she felt the weight of the jewels appear in her pocket. He accepted the quest. He ran off again, and she sighed heavily. She was free now. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the jewels. Over time she learned how they worked, and how to use them. Red gave her magnificent strength and fire magic. Blue fortified her constitution and taught her ice magic. Yellow gave her the gift of speed and lightning magic.

Each ambush stripped her of her powers, and cancelled any magic she tried to use. Once the stones were reset they remained inert for the rest of the ambushes. She tried using all the powers at once. She tried using one at time to get to the next ambush, but that only got her to the fourth one. The goblins could not help but attack her. No matter what she did, she could not use the same set of stones to reach the exit of the cave.

One time she accidentally dropped the jewels when she died on the fourth ambush. It took her a while to reach that point again, but she noticed the jewels she dropped were still there. She managed to pick them up and activate one, then she died again before she could do anything with it. It took thousands of deaths, and an unknown amount of time. Years, centuries maybe. Now she finally had gems stashed at all five ambushes. She knew she could reach the mouth of the cave. She enjoyed the walk to the first ambush with KiritoLegolas69 nowhere in sight.

“You’ll never escape Princess!” Screampig yelled. The enchantress activated the first set of jewels and politely slaughtered the goblins. She felt exhilarated when she picked up the set of jewels she dropped. She ran to the second ambush.

“The Princess is loose!” Her powers faded, and she activated the second set. She did not know the rest of the goblins as well as she did Screampig. She killed them all with no hesitation. She picked up another set of jewels then ran to the third ambush.

“STOP THE PRINCESS!” Her magic fizzled, and she activated the next set. The goblins were getting more difficult to deal with, but still trivial. When they were all dead she found her next set of jewels and ran to the fourth ambush.

“The Princess is escaping!” She did not waste any time destroying them. After she picked up more jewels she ran to the final ambush.

“Your escape attempt ends here, Princess,” the goblin boss said. In her excitement she forgot the goblin boss had more lines. She activated the next set of jewels, then felt power course through her as her magic doubled. “GUARDS!” The boss yelled, then her powers fizzled out.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” She yelled as the burly goblin charged at her with a sword. She dropped her arms and head in defeat. “I’ve got all the time in the world. I’ll get here again.” Then everything went black.

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