Produce and Production (2-11-18)



[WP] A serious story where every sentence manages to contain the name of a fruit. [Link to post.]

“A is for apple, isn’t that right?” Rodney Fig sat nervously in the bright white interrogation room. A large mirror sat on the wall behind officer Lemon. Rodney knew from TV that there were likely a bunch of officers in there packed like grapes, just waiting for him to trip up. “Being the fine produce manager you are, I’m sure you know B is for banana. But things get really interesting when we get to C, don’t they Fig?” The officer gripped Rodney’s shoulder like one might test the firmness of an avocado.

“C isn’t for….cherry. No, not cherry. Not cantaloupe, clementine, or even cucumbers.” Officer Lemon stood in front of Rodney and stared down at him through hard blue eyes. “C is for cocaine, not crab apples. So what do you know about the cocaine, Fig?” Rodney shrugged like a banana trying to squeeze out of its peel. 

“I don’t know anything about the cocaine in the watermelon!” Rodney yelled with his face red as a strawberry.

“Watermelon? Who said anything about a watermelon?” Officer Lemon stared through the glass mirror and shrugged.

“I uh, no one said watermelon. I know produce though, and watermelon is the only thing that would make sense. I just jacked myself up like a jackfruit, didn’t I?” Sadness filled Rodney’s eyes and he stared at the bunch of grapes some bored suspect carved into the interrogation table. Officer Lemon shook his head.

“You’re free to walk, Fig. You obviously don’t know anything about the cocaine found in your peach pits.” Rodney chuckled to himself, then shrugged.

“That seems like a stupid place to hide anything, even hollowed out pears would be better.” Rodney Fig walked out of the police station, and seconds later his phone rang. The display showed a honeydew melon with hearts around it.

“Yeah they tossed me out like an apple core once I convinced them I didn’t know anything. Anyway, quit filling the peach pits, and move on to pears.” 

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