Dog. Eat dog. (3-15-18)


[WP] As a dog, you had always wished that you could be a human. Then, one day, after peeing on magical fire hydrant, your wish came true! Instant regret. [Link to post.]


“What the hell’s going on here?” I heard a gruff voice behind me and turned around. I didn’t understand what he said, but I knew what annoyance looked like in humans. I noticed a sparkle under his thick blue jacket, but then my attention was pulled away when he waved a black stick at me. 

“Ruuuohhhaawww.” I didn’t know any human words, but I hoped he wanted to play.

“Ohhh, a loony eh?” His eyes turned softer and he put away his stick. He must have really loved that stick, he had a fancy loop on his belt just for it. I guess he didn’t want to play after all. He put his hands out in front of him and walked toward me slowly.

“Whatcha doing out here naked and peeing on a fire hydrant for, guy? Everything’s gonna be okay, let’s get you somewhere we can find out who you are,” He stepped close enough to me that I leaned forward to smell his hands. Chili! I licked his fingers but didn’t find anything tasty. 

“You’re a piece of work. Seem friendly enough though.” He took off his jacket and handed it to me. Wrap this around your waist, so we can hide your bits. There’s kids around,” he said and smiled at me. I smiled back at him and put my arm in the sleeve, then the other one. Now I had a thick blue jacket, it was warm. “Mother, mercy,” he said. “Your WAIST! Your dingaling’s hanging out like snake hanging out of a sock.” He stepped closer to me, with annoyance in his eyes. I stepped back, but he grabbed the jacket firmly and pulled it off me. I looked down in disappointment that he took away my nice jacket, and noticed something different on myself. I reached down but the man put his jacket around my waist, with the back of it blocking my front. He walked behind me and tied the jacket with the arms on my back. He put his arm on my shoulder and pushed me forward slightly in a definite direction. 

“C’mon. Let’s get you sorted.” He gave me a nice coat so I let him guide me where he wanted to go. We ended up standing next to a blue and white car with bars on the window. I’d seen bars on cars before, and any stray that got picked up by them were never seen again. He opened the door and put his hand on my head. I wiggled my head hoping for pets, but he put pressure on me and pushed me towards the inside of the car. I braced myself. 

“Huh? Don’t wanna get in?” He pushed harder. I pushed back even harder. “Didn’t want to do it this way, but you’re under arrest for indecent exposure. You have the right to remain silent,” He let go of my head, and his other hand let go of my arm. “Anything you say..” he continued saying words I didn’t understand, but he wasn’t holding me at all for a second. That was enough. I bolted for the alleyway. “HEY!” He shouted after me, but I didn’t hear his foot steps following me. I ran into the nearby alley safely, then jumped into the dumpster behind a restaurant to hide. 

Food! I leaned down and bit into a slice of pizza. It didn’t taste good like pizza should, so I spat it out and looked for something different to get the horrible taste out of my mouth. Spaghetti! I plunged my face into the yellow and red noodles and began chewing the pile. Then spit out the food again, and laid down in the dumpster. I felt sad, and noticed water coming out of my eyes. I’d seen humans cry sometimes, and now I knew why. Food tasted horrible to humans. I stared at the blue sky and wondered if there was a way to turn myself back. 

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