Thursday Funday (3-31-18)


[WP] You fall asleep Wednesday. You wake up, arrive to work, and your co-workers begin to talk about their weekend plans. You look at your computer and the calendar reads Friday. You have no idea where Thursday went. [Link to post.]


“What about you, Larry? Any plans for the three day weekend?” Lou leaned over my cubicle, his coffee cup tilted enough to spill some drops on my desk. 

“What?” I asked, glancing at the date in the corner of the monitor. The date seemed right, but Lou didn’t normally start yapping about his weekend plans till Friday. 

“Me, I’m gonna sleep late tomorrow. Get up around noon and light the pit. You should totally come by,” he said. 

“Don’t you have work to do? Wait, tomorrow?” I looked up at him to start my reprimand, but he waved me off and turned away. 

“Yeah, you’re right. See ya tomorrow!”  He waved backward at me. I clicked the date in the corner of the screen. It said Friday. 

Computer’s wrong,” I thought to myself, but didn’t believe it. 

“Hey, Caroline?” I asked the cubicle next to me. A chestnut next of curls popped up. 

“Yeah, Lar?” She asked. 

“What’s today?” 

“Friday. You going to Lou’s Barbecue tomorrow?” She asked. Her phone rang. 

“But yesterday was Wednesday,” I said. I liked Caroline. She was infinitely more personable than Lou, and one of the few I trusted in the office. 

“You’re funny, Lar. I got work to do.” Caroline’s head sunk down in her cubicle and I heard her answer the phone. I sat down in my chair and decided to ask Google what day it was. Google agreed that the day was Friday. 

What the hell happened to Thursday?”  I sat in my chair and tried to remember anything I could. But I found no memories between going to sleep last night, Wednesday, and this morning, Friday. I caught sight of Lou walking towards the copier and jumped up to walk with him. 

“Hey Lou, I was here yesterday, right?”  He chuckled. 

“You’re asking the wrong guy. I wasn’t.” Of course, I should have known better. Lou only had a 50% chance of showing up to work on any given day. Nepotism ran strong in his father’s company. It could have been worse; most of us were thankful that he did actually do his job well when he bothered to show. “What’s the matter?” I almost told him, but the last thing I needed was him telling his old man I was having issues. 

“Nothing. Just, you know, making conversation,” I said. We reached the copier and I left him there. I headed towards Caroline’s desk, but she still held the phone to her ear while rolling her eyes at me. That conversation was not going to be over anytime soon. I thought about who else I trusted on the floor, then headed to Johnny’s cubicle. I remembered he took Fridays off the moment I saw his empty seat. Johnny enjoyed his three day weekends, and opted to do the 4/10 work week. 

“Three day weekend,” I mumbled to myself. Lou mentioned a three day weekend, but I didn’t remember hearing about having Monday off. I headed back to Caroline’s desk. If she wasn’t off the phone yet, it was a harmless question I could ask Lou. Thankfully she was off the phone. I grabbed a nearby chair and sat next to her. 

“I’m starting to think Lou is a bad influence on you,” she said. 

“I got something going on, I need your help,” I said, wringing my hands in my lap. She looked up from her computer and gave me her full attention.

“Lou said we got a three day weekend,” I said, unsure where to start. She nodded.

“Yeah, you going to the barbecue tomorrow?”  I shook my head, realizing I started off in the wrong spot. 

“I didn’t know we had Monday off,” I said. 

“Lar,” Caroline leaned in closer and hushed her voice to a whisper. “Did you drop acid this morning?”  I realized I needed to ask questions instead of starting off with statements. I decided to pick up the original line of questioning. 

“What’s today?” Her eyes narrowed. “Please, humor me.” 

“Friday.” She said with a trace of disappointment. I knew she thought I was tripping. 

“Three day weekend starting tomorrow?”  She nodded. Her phone rang, but I grabbed her hands to keep her attention on me. 

“So we have Monday off?” She shook her head. 

“No idiot, we have Thursday off. Three day weekend, Saturday, Sunday, Thursday.” 

“What? Yesterday was Wednesday! Thursday comes after Wednesday,” 

“Damnit Larry, you too?” Caroline hissed at me. “That’s some crappy luck working here.” She spread her arms wide to gesture at the entire office. “Look, just take the day off, and I’ll explain it to you later. But don’t let Lou hear you say that, he’ll turn you in.” 

“What’s wrong with working for the Border Patrol? Wait, turn me in for what?” I asked, having enough sense to whisper. 

“For entering our universe illegally. I don’t know why you damn immigrants don’t follow the proper channels.” I heard Lou’s voice behind me and felt a firm hand on my shoulder. 

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