Sharp Procedures

“What do you mean a week?” Mundo asked. She leaned on the bar eyeing the pair of women standing in front of her. They looked similar, with pale skin and short dark hair. The taller, leaner one wore a white suit; the shorter, chubbier one wore a black one.

“Seven days, a standard week. Starting tomorrow, of course,” Ms. Sharp said; she’d done most of the talking since the two women walked in. Mundo only knew her name because it seemed like, “Yes, Ms. Sharp,” were the only words the Estrella in the black suit could speak.

“The whole Earth in seven days? ” Mundo shook her head in disbelief.

“Except you, of course,” Ms. Sharp smiled.

“That’s another thing…,” Mundo crossed her arms and stood up straighter. She was a significant woman that easily towered over Ms. Sharp, even with the bar and stools between them. Her width was wider than both women shoulder to shoulder. “…I can do this for you,” she shrugged. “It doesn’t work out, no skin off my back.  But, if it does work out, what am I gonna do here alone? What’s in it for me?” she asked. 

“Melody,” Ms. Sharp said. The woman in black stepped forward and placed a node on the bar. Mundo glanced down at the transparent rectangle, then shrugged.

“Another node, big deal,” she lazily twirled her index finger in the air to show sarcastic enthusiasm.

“Not just a node. That’s the control node to this server. You help me, you get the Earth of your dreams all to yourself. Share it or don’t,” Ms. Sharp added with a shrug. Mundo looked down on the node for a long minute but did not pick it up from the bar.

“Why?” Mundo asked. “Is this just a cosmic practical joke or something?” Ms. Sharp shook her head.

“There’s no joke, but it does serve a practical purpose. This is practice, Mundo.”

“Practice? How? For what?”

“This isn’t our first attempt; Earth evacuation used to take years. I’m hoping we can do this one within a week. Ballisea can conquer an Earth in less than a day; my goal is to evacuate in hours,” Ms. Sharp answered. Mundo made her mind up at the mention of Ballisea.

“You have the script with you?” Mundo asked. Ms. Sharp smiled.

“I have Melody with me.” Melody approached the bar again. In the single step it took to get there, Melody’s hand dipped into a black hole. It returned holding a manilla folder that she placed on the bar.  Mundo opened it to find a single sheet of paper that wasn’t even half full of text.

“This is it?”

“There is less confusion when there is less said,” Ms. Sharp replied. Mundo nodded and read over the short paragraph several times while debating. Finally, she gave a solid, confirming nod.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” She looked at the women. “Is now okay?” Mundo asked. Ms. Sharp nodded.

“Melody, send me home. Then, run the broadcast protocol when Mundo starts.”

“Yes, Ms. Sharp,” Melody said. A tall black portal opened next to Ms. Sharp; she walked in then it disappeared. Mundo concentrated on the paper and read it aloud. The vocalization helped her focus for broadcasting.

“Attention, Earth…,” she began. Everyone on Earth heard the message in their mind. “God here. Due to reasons I can’t even begin to explain, Earth is in danger.”  While Mundo read, Melody tapped and swiped on her on node. After a final tap, the same text that Mundo was reading appeared on every electronic display.

“But, there’s nothing to worry about. I am God, right? This Earth only has a week of life left in it, but help is on the way. I’ve arranged a moving company to help you relocate from your Earth to a different Earth. Don’t worry about overcrowding, though. I made you guys a brand new Earth that doesn’t even have humans yet.  So, start packing your bags, you need to be out by the end of the week. Thanks for listening, everyone.”

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