They’re making a fool out of me. Every morning and every night, every guard has the same knowing smile. They’re waiting for the right moment to pull the rug out from under me. Waiting to kill me when I least expect.
“Any day now,” they’d say with a wink. At first, I thought they got bored of that game after a few days. They stopped saying it, but that smile was still always there. Then, they started ignoring me. I realized they didn’t forget; they were still playing with me. Torturing me. They wanted me to think I might still live, if that ‘someday’ never arrived. Think they forgot about me.
But I’m on to them. They gave me a new cellmate, but that was a step too far. That’s how I caught on to their ruse. He’s in on it, that’s how I know. He’s pretending to ignore me too. I doubt he’s a real convict, he must be an actor. He’s too good. No matter how much I yell and scream in his face, he doesn’t even blink.
I won’t let them trick me. I won’t let them surprise me. I’m so focused lately, I don’t even need to sleep. I sit in the corner of my cell and watch them. They don’t make me go out into the yard with the actor. My focus kills all my hunger. I don’t have to leave this spot. They can’t sneak up on me anymore. When they bring Death to meet me, I’ll be ready.