Hans Wringing

[WP] The monster under your bed finally meets the monster in your closet. [Link to post.]


“What about this?” A tall blue-skinned man posed in front of Jerry. He modeled a pair of blue jeans with a loud yellow and blue polka dot shirt. The young boy sat on the bed and shook his head.


“That shirt’s ugly,” the boy said. “Go back to the black and white one.” The man’s shirt shifted colors. The blue polka dots turned white, and the yellow shirt became black. The boy nodded. “That looks better.”  A gentle knock struck the door. “Hide!” the boy whisper-shouted at the blue man. The tall man dropped to the floor and rolled under the bed seconds before a woman walked into Jerry’s room.


“Hey Champ all set for bed?” the woman asked as she sat down next to Jerry. She pulled the heavy comforter up to tuck him in. Jerry nodded.


“Hans is going on a date tonight, he’s really excited,” the boy said.


“Oh is he?” She asked with false interest. “Did he meet her under your bed too?” Jerry shook his head.


“Nu uh. Last week I heard a noise in the closet,” Jerry pointed to the closed closet door. “…and Hans went to go check for me. It was a girl monster and they became friends.” Jerry’s mother chuckled.


“You sent the monster under your bed to check your closet for monsters?” She patted his head, and Jerry nodded. “That’s very brave of Hans, make sure you thank him for me.”


“Hans is great, I hope he wants to meet you one day. He says parents freak out when they see he’s real.” Jerry shrugged. His mother nodded.


“I know I’d be surprised to meet a tall blue man, and his blue girlfriend,” she said.


“MOOOooom.” Jerry felt a flush of embarrassment for his friend. “She’s not his girlfriend yet, they’re only going on a date. And she’s not blue. Hans said her name is Cardigan, and she has curly horns like a ram.”


“Oh? She sounds fancy, I hope Hans is dressed nicely.” Jerry nodded.


“He looks great.” Jerry’s mother stood from the bed, leaned forward and kissed his forehead, then walked out of the room. She flipped the light switch off on her way out.


“G’night, Jerry. Sweet dreams, champ. I’ll see you in the morning.”


“G’night mom!” Jerry called out as the door closed. “Okay, she’s gone.” Jerry leaned over the side then stuck his hand into the dark gap between the floor and the bottom of his bed. He felt Han’s familiar grip squeeze around his small hand and pulled the man upward out of the darkness.  Instead of the white and black polka dot shirt, he now wore a full dark black tuxedo with a bow tie and everything.


“What happened to your clothes?” Jerry asked. Hans shrugged.


“Your mom was right. I wanted to dress nicer for Cardigan,” the blue man said. Jerry nodded from his bed.


“My mom’s right about a lot of things. You should meet her.” It was Hans’ turn to shake his head.


“Sorry, Jerry. Your mom said it herself. She’d be very ‘surprised’ if she met me. She doesn’t think I’m real, and it might be bad if she finds out I am.”


“So you never get to meet parents?” Jerry asked.


“Nope. Eventually, you’re going to outgrow me, and I’ll have to find some other kid’s bed to live under.” Jerry sternly shook his head.


“No. It won’t happen to me. I’ll remember you and when I have kids you can live under their bed, and I’ll believe them that you exist.” Hans walked to the bed and patted Jerry on the head.


“That’d be nice. But I’ve got too much going on tonight to worry about the future.” Hans bowed his head slightly and saluted Jerry. “Be a good boy and don’t wait up for me. I’m gonna go pick my date up.”


“Have fun!” Jerry waved at the man as he disappeared into the closet.

Monsters (10-9-2017)

After a young child is kidnapped, the monster under their bed and the monster in their closet decide to team up to bring them home. [link to post]
The woman ran into Malcolm’s room yelling for help while her husband dealt with the kidnappers on the phone.
“Hans, Cardigan. Help! Malcolm’s been kidnapped!”
A blue, otherwise normal, hand reached out from under the bed. Another hand followed it. The creature pulled himself out of the shadows and revealed himself to be a blue man. He stood taller than the woman. Long purple bangs covered his eyes, and he wore a red t-shirt with black jeans. Then a tall, furry woman walked out of the closet. Her eyes were crystal clear, almost invisible. The fur on her face, arms, and legs consisted of very fine blonde baby fur. A pair of ram horns grew on either side of her blond pony tail, they curled in on themselves.
“What do you know so far?” Hans, the blue man asked. His voice sounded like a whisper at a funeral. The woman looked at her phone to check the messages from her husband.
“They want 10 million dollars. They said they would call back in two hours with directions.”
“Found him,” Cardigan said. Her eyes were closed and her horns glowed with golden light. “They have a bed and a closet. Hans, go get our boy. When you’re clear I’m going to make sure they learn not to mess with my son.” Cardigan touched Hans on the head and his eyes glowed gold behind his purple bangs. Hans got down on the floor and crawled under the bed.
“I know I don’t say it enough, Cee, but thank you. Both you and Jerry, thank you for taking such great care of our son. He’s only 10. Younger than I would have liked to tell him everything, but I think he will have questions after tonight. When Hans gets back, please talk to him with your husband. I’ll join you as soon as I deal with the kidnappers.” Cardigan walked into the closet and disappeared. The instant she disappeared Cee heard Malcolm’s screams coming from under the bed.
“AAAHHHHHH! STAY AWAY MONSTER!” Malcolm appeared under his bed and scurried out into his room. He looked panicked until he realized where he was.
“Mom? MOM! RUN! THERE’S A MONSTER!” The small blonde boy grabbed the woman’s hand and tried to pull her out of the room. She did not move.
“That monster rescued you from the kidnappers. You should probably thank him at least,” Cee said. She yanked hard and Malcolm was pulled back into the room. He saw a pair of blue hands appear from under the bed and Hans stood up. He smiled at Malcolm.
“Hello, Malcolm. It’s nice to meet you,” Hans whispered. He bowed slightly at the waist. “My name is Hans.” Malcolm did not move. He stood behind his mother and eyed the tall blue man.
“Don’t worry dear. Hans is a friend, I’ve known him longer than I’ve known you,” Cee said. She pulled Malcolm forward in front of her.
“Mom? You know monsters?” Malcolm asked. He looked up to the woman while he held her hand.
“I know a few, but we need to have a conversation. Let’s go to the living room.” She walked out of Malcolm’s bedroom while still holding the boy’s hand. Hans followed behind them.
“Dad!” Malcolm yelled. He ran towards the big man and gave him a big hug.
“Hey champ. I’m glad you’re okay. Were you scared?” The man asked while embracing the boy. Malcolm shook his head.
“Mom knows a blue man?”
“Yep. I know him too, he’s a great guy.”
“How did you guys meet a blue guy?” Malcolm asked the room.
“More important than that, I think we have to discuss who the blue guy is,” Cee said. She sat down on the couch next to Malcolm and gestured that Hans should sit near them too.
“Malcolm, this is going to be a lot to take in. But you need to know that we all love you very much, and only want what’s best for you. Nothing has changed and we will answer any questions you have. You are adopted. You’re not my biological son. Hans is your real father. And you’ll meet your real mother soon too.”
“What? What do you mean? You’re my mom!” Malcolm hugged Cee tight.
“Hans and his wife, your real mother, are our best friends. I grew up with your mother, her name is Cardigan, living in my closet. Hans grew up under Jerry’s bed. Cardigan and Hans actually introduced Jerry and I to each other. They were a couple for a long time, and then you were born. You looked too human to grow up in either of their worlds, so we all agreed to raise you together. We were going to tell you all this when you were older, but the kidnapping kind of brought them to light.” Cee explained.
“I’m sorry mom. The kidnapping was a joke. My friends said it would be funny to pretend, and then to see your faces when I’m safe and sound.”
“What?” Hans asked.
“It was just pretend. I was going to come home in a couple of hours, before the kidnappers called back.”
“Hey guys, where are we in the conversation?” Cardigan walked into the room, her cloven hooves sounded like high heels on the hardwood floor. Her wet fur smelled a bit like wet goat, and Hans noticed she missed some blood on her horns when she cleaned herself up to meet her son.